Who am I? ‘I’ have never had a single moment of experience apart from Awareness. ‘I’ and Awareness are the same. We must be. ‘I’ can’t be sans Awareness. Awareness is effortless; it never tries to be aware, it just is. What’s more this sense of I-ness that I experience as this me that perceives is unchanging. I am the exact same sense of ‘I’ now as I was in second grade. This sense of ‘I’ is exactly the same sense of ‘I’ I can ever remember from anytime over the course of my entire lifetime. My thoughts have changed but this inner me that is the presence here knowing is the same.
If I follow this realization where it seems to be leading, more and more previously unseen perspective becomes illuminated and falls into place. ‘I’ am Awareness. These thoughts that I think of as me thinking are happening within this Awareness. I am as aware of these thoughts as I am this keyboard in front of me. My entire experience as this human I think of as myself, Dylon, to be is a compilation of thinking, sensing (body) and perceiving (world) all happening within Awareness.
The thinking I’m doing is all happening in a placeless place of Awareness. It is here and I’m aware of it as a ‘thing’ I know but I can’t point to it any where. It just is. If I try to locate it I only point to a concept taught to me by someone else. I don’t actually experience a thought any where like inside my head. I simply experience each thought in a place of awareness neither near nor far.
Likewise, my perception of a body is entirely an experience of sensing. Every aspect of an experience of body I can identify is known by the sensation I experience of it calling it my body. The ongoing experiencing I’m doing or having is entirely an experience of sensing. I never experience a body as such. I experience sensing in exactly the same place as I experience thoughts. In fact, my experience of a sense and my experience of a thought are made out of exactly the same mind-stuff. Whatever a thought is made out of a sensation is made of exactly the same ‘stuff’ happening in exactly the same ‘place.’
Lastly, my perception of a world outside of me is experienced exactly the same as thoughts and sensations. I experience perceiving in the same placeless place as thinking and sensing. I see this keyboard in front of and apart from me. How? Where do I experience seeing? In the brain? Perhaps but do I ever experience a brain or do I just experience seeing? Only seeing, I never experience a brain. Brain is a concept I’ve learned from someone else. Seeing doesn’t happen ‘out there’ at the keyboard. It happens ‘in here’ as the experience of seeing. Again, where is ‘in here?’ I have a learned concept that tells me I’m experiencing all of this inside my brain but my direct experience is that I’m experiencing seeing in exactly the same placeless place as I do thinking and sensing. I can’t actually point to a ‘where.’ My experience is not only happening in the same ‘place’ as thinking and sensing but again, it’s made of the same ‘stuff’ as thinking and sensing. Whatever a thought is made out of my perceiving of seeing is made of the same thing.
This Awareness that I know ‘I’ to be is my entire experience of me. Is there anything out there? I have no way of knowing. My entire experience of everything is the shape Awareness takes at the moment ‘I’ experience it. ‘I’ am Awareness. ‘I’ and Awareness are the same thing. Everything I experience as this ‘I’ is happening in the same placeless place of Awareness. I’m experiencing Awareness. I’m Awareness.
I/Awareness am experiencing I/Awareness.
All I ever actually experience is me. This entire experience is the shape Awareness takes as this experience. ‘I’ am all there ever is.