One

As I walked away for a moment I became aware of what I believe is a flaw in my thinking. I said I was seeking a solution. A solution by its very nature requires a problem to be solved. A thought has appeared to me repeatedly that the problem is thinking there’s a problem. When I feel discomfort I seek comfort. In all the various ways I can describe discomfort in life I always judge that discomfort as something I don’t want, as something wrong, and seek to eliminate it. Generally I don’t think this consciously to myself but the underlying driving force is that discomfort is undesirable and wrong and comfort is desirable and right. Life should be bliss and bliss feels good.

Yet from the perspective of the One-All this is a mistaken perception. Before anything I consider reality exists or appears the formless All exists as the potential before any thing is. It is the single formless form that is the irreducible primary before ALL secondary’s. My entire reality is the form the One-All-Is is taking now as my perception. Not only the things I see like a table and a chair but all that is less easily pointed to like a thought or an idea or a feeling. There is only the One-All. There is nothing else aside from or outside of One. This is nearly impossible for my mind to grasp but for a moment here and a moment there I see clearly the unbroken oneness of all that is. This is what God is.

A “long time ago” in an effort to describe this understanding to a wider audience those trying to convey this idea decided to present it in what they perceived as the most easily understandable format. They anthropomorphized this Oneness into a larger than life “being” who was omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent.

Just so we’re all using the same words to mean the same things:

Anthropomorphized means to give a nonhuman thing a human form, characteristics or behavior.

Omniscient means all knowing.

Omnipotent means all powerful.

Omnipresent means present throughout the whole of creation.

Now a much broader audience had a way to conceptualize this Oneness as something that made some sense in their day to day reality.

Over time this has become extraordinarily distorted. Perhaps the greatest distortion is the idea that this Oneness is sitting in judgment of you and your actions here on earth. You are this Oneness. It is not you existing here and the Oneness sitting over there watching you go about your business. You are an expression of that Oneness that is all there is. You are part of all that is. When this Oneness, God, is described as being omnipresent it is said to be everywhere. If you are here and God is over there judging you then God is not here. That is not omnipresence. That is separation of you and Oneness, God. Omnipresence demands that you and God are one. It cannot be otherwise or it is not omnipresence. It cannot be both ways; it is either omnipresence or it is not. If God is omnipresent and judging you then God is judging God and that is preposterous.

By anthropomorphizing Oneness as God so more people could relate to this idea people slowly, over time, began to give this now understandable, person-shaped God (we’re made in his image) understandable, person-like characteristics as well. However, Oneness is not a being of any shape or form. We exist with all our human qualities as an expression of Oneness, of God not a replica of an existing form.  God, Oneness exists before we exist to have human like qualities to give. We and all that we perceive as reality are the shape God is taking now as this reality. This reality is God. There is only God, Oneness. Nothing can be other than God.

Here’s the cosmic joke in all of this: all of thoughts and ideas that exist are Oneness, God. All thoughts of judgment and all its implications and ramifications are God, Oneness. In creating the ride that you perceive as life you have temporarily fooled yourself into forgetting the Truth. You, judgment, Truth and anything else you can name or imagine, be it tragic or triumphant, is God. The very notion of triumphant or tragic is God. It is all a magnificent ride created by you for you. You don’t remember. You’re not supposed to remember. The ride is the ride because you don’t remember and believe all that you see is just what it appears to be. The ride is the ride because of that belief. But now you’re remembering, why?

Right Here, Right Now.

I sit looking out a window. There is no window. There is no me. There is this “I” here perceiving but nothing else is what it seems…nothing else. Sometimes this is experienced for the briefest moment ever so clearly. This entire thing, this life, is a creation of these five senses building a world I perceive as being out there and me in here. It’s so subtle that I can barely comprehend it even as I write about it now. I write how this is a playground or an amusement park, a ride or a game. All correct and all but barely a glimpse of the reality of what I’m trying to grasp. Seeing is created and shaped into something seen. Hearing is created and shaped into something heard; same with taste, touch and smell. “I” am the very act of perceiving and everything else…everything… is the shape those perceptions take not things in and of themselves. There’s nothing out there. There’s nothing here. There is only “I.” “I” don’t move. “I” am movement. “I” don’t see, hear, smell, touch or taste. “I” am seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling and tasting. These are not things happening to me, they are me. “I” am not Dylon, “I” am Dyloning.

As I try to find words I lose my sense of it. I think of examples I’ve seen of a video production where a blob of one thing morphs into one shape after another seamlessly transforming from object to object. This life is exactly that on the grandest scale. The entirety of what I perceive as reality and life is one all encompassing, never ending, always changing morph. Everything that I perceive as being a part of reality is all one seamless, unbroken whole. I never experience a single thing but an entire scene in all its infinity and complexity.

Out of this contemplation the question always arises about the existence or reality of others. There are no others. There is no me. There is only “I.” There is only one “thing” appearing as many. “I” appears as Dylon and Mary and Molly and Ace and Vicki and on and on.

Then I always ask why? Why is One doing this? The question is asked from me, Dylon. ME doesn’t ask such a question. From the perspective of One there is no asker to answer. There is no “one” outside of One to ask for a justification of purpose. This is very difficult for me to grasp for very long here as me. Yet I glimpse it. I know it exists. From my me perspective I want it be something I can use in my life here as Dylon. I want to use this knowledge to make my experience here better than the not too good feeling that Dylon often has. This seems to be a desire born of this perspective which is fleeting and therefore never takes hold. There isn’t anything here to take hold of. It is this longing for a landing spot that makes this all seem so uneasy. There is no landing spot and the never ending search to find one becomes a kind of self fulfilling prophecy where discomfort ensures its own continuation.

It is here as I write. I want to share this with someone else. I want to show this to someone else. I want someone else to witness this incredible understanding that’s emerging from me. This sense that there is somewhere I can go that will feel better than this here I am is unrelenting. No matter the clarity I appear to have, however brief, the need to establish my OKness through the witnessing of another never ceases. Is this an inexorable part of the ride to always be experienced as part of experience or something transcended and left at the curbside? Writing seems to provide a vehicle for exploration and celebration. Am I only ever writing for ME? Am I asking this question from me thinking I’m ME?

I’m left in this place of witnessing. I’m awake and “walking” through my own dream. This is all emerging from ME. Every expression of life lived is the shape the morph of ME is taking. I’m directing, producing and starring in my own movie. 7 billion other people are doing the same thing. There is only ME. I exist “here” as me. Yet I know ME is present. There isn’t anything to do about it. Like sitting in a movie theater watching a character have a difficult experience there isn’t anyone to save or fix or rescue. The movie will run its course and the lights will come up and all will be well. All is well. There’s nothing to do. There’s nothing to fix. Nothing’s broken. Scheinfeld talked about playing the game purely for the fun of playing. Outcome is irrelevant. I am Scheinfeld showing up in and as my experience. Every, single experience I have is ME. There is no meaning to try to get from the significance of any particular happening. If meaning exists it can’t be missed. There is only ME. If I don’t see then ME doesn’t want to and if I do then ME does. I can’t get this wrong.