If a thought arises and that thought is uncomfortable and I’d rather it was gone or different, what can I do? It seems to me that anything I attempt to do in regards to changing that thought only strengthens that thought. Does that mean there’s nothing to do, that I must suffer all the things I do not like? No, in fact I think the problem and the solution are contained within the question.
First off, “I think it’s a problem.” Nothing is a problem as such but thinking makes it so (to paraphrase WS). I’ve decided, consciously or not, that this thought is a problem. I may not remember how or when I first concluded this, or what other thoughts lead here but they did and here I am. This thing I perceive as a problem is just that, a perception. Someone else faced with the exact same thought wouldn’t give it a second “glance” as it has no meaning, no charge, for them. So I can see that it is not a problem, in and of itself, without my participation; I’m required for the problem to exist.
Secondly, since I perceive this as a problem and I am a Western minded, problem solving individual I perceive again (an emerging pattern?) that I must do something to fix this problem. However, if I’ve just seen that the problem doesn’t exist as such and only appears to exist as result of an angle of perception then I might conclude that the fixing required is a fix of my perception. But in this conclusion the conundrum persists: I still perceive a problem and problems need fixing.
What if it isn’t a problem? What if it isn’t right or wrong? What if it just is? What if it’s merely a curiosity of the complex expression that is me? What if I can’t explain why it is or where it began? What if I don’t have to? What if I stopped looking for someone or something to blame for this broken me? What if it’s simply a thing the same way every breath I take is a thing? What if it’s just one more part of me, no more or less important? What if it comes and goes and I just watch it? What if I don’t do anything about it? How long will it continue to be a problem if I stop insisting that there is a problem?